Free Range Kids Is a super blog that was recently started
after the author wrote an article about allowing her child to ride the subway
alone. My own experience as mother started out in the overprotective mode. Fine when they are tiny tots and need to be watched,
but thankfully by the time they were young adolescents, I had calmed. Living in
one of the most populated parts of a large city, was an opportunity for each to
develop independence and for me to develop trust.
Starting with being allowed to go to the bus stop alone
around age 7 and go down to the little store in the next building to buy a snack
or last minute grocery need, then going to the park or further adventures on
foot or by bus. They both started to develop a sense of their place. They new which neighbors would always have an eye for them, which were a little off their kilter and which to avoid as much as possible. They developed playground friendships with whoever might be playing in the park (almost always under their own parents watchful eyes.) I am sure there were parents that thought, my poor kids must be terribly neglected when their mother or father wasn't at the park with them most days.
Our new neighborhood is just 8 blocks further south, in rich
and diverse area. One block for a row of great little restaurants, Asian
markets the kids have the opportunity to explore the city a bit on their own
terms and in their way.
My son (AN), 10yrs has a favorite Military Surplus store
that enjoys stopping into. It was three blocks from our old residence, now it
is 10 blocks away. It is run by an old man, from North Dakota
. (there is a story that you
will have to ask CVRick to write) Soon after moving in, he asked in his way to
go explore. Well, really the conversation was this:
AN: I am sure I can’t go outside and play by myself.
ME: Why can’t you?
AN: Well, I can’t go for a walk by myself.
ME: Why can’t you?
AN: I think I know how to get the military store, but I know
I can’t walk there right now.
ME: Why not right now?
AN: Because you don’t want to go with me?
ME: No I don’t right now, do you NEED me to go with you?
AN: No!
So, he walked to his military store by himself, no map, no
cell phone, no directions or confirmation of directions on how to get there or
how to get home. The only thing he needed was his own knowledge of where our
new house was in respect to his favorite store and how he might be able to find
his way.
He came home an hour later and told me how he
found his way. He was clearly excited and proud to be able traverse the
distance and figure it out. Of course, we remind him to watch for traffic, what to do
if someone is bothering him, etc. He is impulsive but very smart and I trust
that his going to be safe. Safe simply must be balanced with freedom.